The UnInstallment of Harry Potter
by serenitysaiyan
Summary: AKA : BOOK. Join two girls as they are thrown unceremoniously into the world of Harry Potter and the chaos that ensues.
1. Chapter 1

"Book

The Un-installment of Harry Potter

"Book. Book. Book. Book. Book. Book. Book..."

The two girls sat, staring at the clock, waiting until 11 AM came around so they could go and get the next installment of Harry Potter. The last installment. For what would be midnight in England was 11 AM for them. Sometimes time differences were a good thing. No sleepless nights on this end of the globe!

Finally the minute hand hit 12 while the hour hand struck 10 and the two girls jumped to their feet. "To the line!" They both yelled and dashed out the door, just barely remembering to grab the keys from the hook. Laughing the two made their way quickly down the street, towards the bookstore where they had pre-ordered their books, the cosplay robes they wore fluttering behind them.

"You think if i pointed my wand and said 'Accio Harry Potter 7 book!' it would come to me?"

"No. Because this is the Muggle world."

"But we don't know that!"

"We are, however, led to believe it."

"Bugger."

The conversation continued along those lines as their wands twirled and they adjusted their bags. Hats pulled down too low or placed stupidly on their heads, just passing time until they got to the store where Heaven waited for them.

At exactly 10:30 AM on July 21st 2007, the two girls entered their local book store, ready to receive the last installment to the series that had sold the most copies ever. And no, we're not talking about a sequel to the Bible. Producing their purchase orders and paying for the book up front they then joined the que, still bubbling with excitement.

"So, home right away, or just sit down somewhere and read?"

"Wouldn't it be better to go home? There's food at home."

"True...but then we'd have to wait until we got there."

"Scary thought."

"We might attack people who slowed us down."

"These people in front of us are slowing us down. I wish we could just kick them aside or something." Glaring at the people in front of her she then turned back to her friend. "We should've hired an assassin to kill them all so we could get it first."

"True. But we still have to wait until 11:01 rolls around. It's not like we have anything to do. They just got here before us. Big deal, there's only 5 of them."

With a sigh of boredom both girls sat down, their eyes scanning the small local bookstore.

"Look." one pointed. "That's an awesome banner. What with all 7 book covers on it. Think they would sell it to us?"

"Nah, the manager's probably put dibs on it. We'd have to be pretty famous or something..."

A familiar spark lit up both of their eyes as an idea came to mind.

"Are you thinking?"

"I think i might be."

"You think it would work?"

"Doesn't hurt to try."

The plan in their minds was so ludicrous, so completely impossible, that no one in their sane minds would have tried it. However, these two were high on themselves right now and nothing was seen to be impossible. The Plan (for it was amazing enough to be capitalized) involved both of them, a trained monkey, a fire breathing chicken and two tons of spaghetti. Needless to say, it wouldn't of worked. Though it entertained them enough until it was time for them to cradle the last Potter child in their arms.

Reaching the front desk, waving their wands and pre-ordered tickets around, the two of them smiled sweetly at the woman dressed as Bellatrix. "Excuse me, miss Bella. We were wondering, if it wasn't too much trouble, for you to check with you Master if we could have that amazing banner hanging in your store." One said.

"Yeah! I'm sure Voldie wouldn't mind." The other said, trying to get her eyes to sparkle and shine in the magical way they do in anime.

"It's LORD VOLDEMORT, not Voldie." The first one replied, sniffing a little at her friends ignorance.

"Yeah, yeah, Lord Moldiewart. Whatever. Banner? Please?"

The woman just rolled her eyes, "It's already be claimed. Move on with your books, you're holding up the line."

Exchanging their tickets for the Precious, they moved on, but not with a few snide remarks at how Voldemort would fall at Harry's hand and they would laugh. Hard. And feel no sympathy for Bella at all.

Once outside, they exchanged grins and started to dance in a way they had dubbed 'Sirius' happy dance'. It consisted of a lot of twirling, a little jiggle of the hips now and then, screwing up their faces in delight and moving their arms up and down. One could say that they looked a lot like chickens. Yet, they did it anyway. When completed, they moved out of the sights of the ever-growing crowd into the security of a back alley they had just noticed.

Chattering constantly one stopped and pointed up to the sky, in utter disbelief. "Bike."

"No." The other corrected, not looking. "We have a book, not a bike. And we're using feet to go home, not a motor vehicle."

"No. Bike. In the sky. They don't fly...do they?"

"Ehh?"

The other had time to turn around and allow her eyes to open wide at the ever-growing vehicle before feeling a small spasm in her body, caused from something she wasn't quite sure, and blacking out. The last thing both remembered was a curse being uttered, and rough hands lowering them down on the floor.

AN : SO. This is a wonderful creation from TWO minds. Mine, and my friends. It will be updated when we find the time to combine our creativeness. Look forward to it! Hopefully the next chapter will be up soon! And, yes, this is TOTALLY AU.


	2. Chapter 2

White. Blinding white light. So blindingly white she moaned and moved to grab her sunglasses. "Whaa..." she muttered, groggily. It was taking ages to come around. Damn flying motorbike. Now, where was her sungla...flying motorbike?

Jolting up, one sat up, wide eyed, remembering the events. "Flyi...OOOOHHHH!" Only to lower herself back down as a throbbing headache hit in.

"Drink this. That would be the inter-dimension travel taking effect."

"Nandesuka?" she managed to get out while sipping the drink.

"English, my love."

"What is it?"

"A potion."

"Potion?" What happened to medicine?

"To help with the travel."

"Travel? I only went down the road..."

"I'm afraid you went further than that, my dear. To no fault of your own, of course. I blame this on those men completely. You didn't ask to be hit! You've done no harm. Knocking out two girls, i tell you."

"EMMA!" her eyes opened wide once again.

"Oh? The other girl? She's fine. Still asleep."

"Oh. Book?"

"Book? No, dear, sorry, you didn't arrive with a book."

"Oh. No book?"

"No dear, no book."

"Oh." A frown appeared on her pretty face before she shook her head. "Where's Emma?"

"Over there. Still asleep, like i said."

"How...how long have we been asleep?"

"A week at the very least."

"A WEEK?!"

"Why, yes, of course! You two went though a horrible ordeal. No one should have to travel dimensions unaware."

"Dimensions? What? Where am i?"

"Why, you're at Hogwarts dear. And, don't worry, as soon as you're given a clean bill of health i'll get Alaster to take you and your friend home."

A dreamy expression appeared on the girls face halfway through the woman's sentence. "Are you alright dear?"

"Fine, madam Pomfrey. Perfectly fine. Infact, i think i'm going to make a miraculous recovery. Emma too."

"Well, if you're sure...oh! Your friend is waking u-"

"EMMA! WE'RE AT HOGWARTS!"

"OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH My- OW OW OW OW! OH MY GOD OH MY GO- OW OW OW!"

"Oh, yeah, headache. Forgot to mention that."

Emma slowly sank back down in the same manner, cradling her throbbing head in her hands. "I've been hit by a bus!" she moaned.

"No. A bike." the other replied.

"That too." Pausing, she looked up, "But wouldn't a bike hurt less?"

"Perhaps? I wouldn't know. I haven't been hit by a bus before to know the pain you receive."

"True. We should try it."

"Maybe later. EMMA WE'RE AT HOGWARTS!"

"OMGWTFLOLBBQ. Y am i speeking liek this?"

"LOLCATS?"

"Ah. Yes. Those."

Madam Pomfrey just sat back at stared as the two girls conversed in what was almost like a foreign language. Yes, it had traces of English in it, but there wasn't much. "Do you two...speak English? Or some warped form?"

"Eigo wa hanasemasu."

Madam Pomfrey just blinked.

"Yes, we can speak English. Honestly. You people not knowing Japanese. It's a DISGRACE." She pouted.

Emma looked at her, eyebrow raised. "I can't speak Japanese."

"But you KNOW it! There's a DIFFERENCE."

"Ookay?"

"Just accept it."

"Will do."

At that moment the door opened and Tonks, Harry and a ton of other well known characters tumbled through the door and made the girls squeal in unison, only to go back to holding their heads, the potion Madam Pomfrey gave them not yet kicking in fully. Glaring at the visitors, Madam Pomfrey gestured at the two girls who were just staring with looks of amazement while clutching their hands to their heads. "These two need rest! Out with you!"

"Nono! It's okay. We're tough. We can deal with it. Right Emma?"

Emma just smiled before collapsing back onto her pillow. However, she misjudged her position and found herself in a slightly strange position on the floor with her head throbbing more than usual. "Ow."

The other girl just rolled her eyes. "Loser."

Struggling with her body for a second, Emma finally righted herself to sit on the floor properly and stuck her tongue out at her friend. "You're one to talk."

Waving a hand she pointed to the rest of the people in room, indicating how confused they were. "Think we should introduce ourselves?"

"Why not."

Kicking at her covers, she propelled herself out of bed and in front of the guests. Smoothing down her hospital gown she smiled. "Hello everyone! I'm Ffion, and i know all about you!"

"And I'm Emma and I'm here to bribe you all to join the dark side; we have cookies."

"Ignore her, she's a Voldie supporter."

"Voldemort!"

"Yeah, yeah, Moldiewart, I GET IT."

A pillow came careening from the general direction of Emma's bed and thwacked Ffion in the head, successfully catapulting her into the crowd and finally tumbling to the floor. Only to find the floor was squishy and warm. Blinking, she looked down at the poor person who broke her fall. "Why hello there Draco Malfoy. I think i've just fallen for you. Or on you. Either one."

"Get off you mudblood filth." he snarled out, trying to dislodge her.

"Mudblood filth? I'm hurt! I'm just a regular Muggle."

One of her arms was lifted away from her body in a pair of rough hands and without thinking she lashed out and attacked the poor sod, ripping their hands from her body and shoving hard. A large crash resounded around the room followed, a few seconds later, by a giant thud. "Oops. Who was that?"

"Crabbe."

"Ah. No loss then."

"No loss?"

"Yeah, it's not like he was a main character or anything."

"Ahhhhh." the characters responded, nodding in agreement as Ffion moved to help Emma up from the floor. "How did that window get there?"

No answer was to be found for the window just changing position. It would have just been accepted less Goyle hadn't complained that his companion had just been violently thrown out a window due to a new girl from a different dimension. It was only then that it dawned on them that the other girl, Emma, had said that she had come to spread the dark side around. So, it was only then, that they turned on the two girls chattering wildly beside the bed.

"Enough playing around, why are you here?" Harry said, angrily.

"Uh."

"Um."

"Well."

"You see."

"I don't think we know."

"Exactly."

"In it's entirety."

"Okay! We get it!" Ron said, cutting off their mantra. "But you're still here to sell us to Voldemort!"

"Maybe." Emma replied, while Ffion just raised an eyebrow.

"But, we are innocent until proven guilty!" Emma said, striking a dramatic pose. "Just like Professor BumbleBee would've said."

The characters blinked. "Who?"

"Professor BumbleBee!"

"...Who?!"

"Professor BumbleBee! Gosh!"

"WHO?!"

"She means Professor Dumbledore. Now shut up, it's hurting my head."

"Oh."

"Right! So!" Ffion grinned and walked towards Professor McGonagall. "As we are recovering and we won't leave your school, i think we should be sorted! Don't you Emma?"

"No. Of course. Nah. Hello." Emma replied.

"I think she's a bit addled from inter-dimension travel. It means yes. Sorting hat please Minnie!"

The other characters stopped their inching towards the door and peered over, waiting to see what Professor McGonagall would do. "But...I...You're muggles!"

"How CAN we be if we can see the castle?"

"THEY KNOW TOO MUCH. KILL THE MUGGLES."

"Shut up, Malfoy." Harry shot back, stopping the blonde.

Emma grinned evilly, "You know, we COULD just go ad 'accidently' blab about the location of Hogwarts. You know. Accidently. While talking in a loud voice. Through a mega-phone. In Times Square."

"What's a mega-phone?"

"The muggle version of the sonorous spell."

"Ah."

"Well, i suppose then that we have to. Emma, Ffion; welcome to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry."

"Awesomeness!" The two girls yelled and gave each other a high five, missing and falling onto the floor, clutching their heads. "Oowwwwww. Headacheeee."

McGonagall sighed. "Potter. Malfoy. Take the two girls and follow me. Let's go and get them sorted."

Harry and Draco sneered at each other before looking down at the two females curled up on the floor holding their heads. Looking back at each other, Harry pulled a Galleon out of his pocket. "Flip? Heads gets the less crazy one."

"Which one's that?" Draco said.

"God knows. Ah, I'll just take one." Harry replied, hoisting Emma up onto his shoulder. Rolling his eyes, Draco picked up Ffion and the two went off to the Headmistresses office, ignoring the random muttering coming from the girls they were carrying.


End file.
